Already I can hear the nicest people in world sighing with a complete understanding of this title and I can hear them also saying how at the same time being mean is something they refuse to do, finding every reason to prove how this characteristic is unbecoming of a good-natured human being.

I know how you feel, I grew up in a family of mean individuals. My family members are experts at finding new and improved ways to say “No.” Whether justified or not.

As a child, I obviously found this disheartening. It seemed like everything I asked for was immediately met with refusal. I eventually found myself wanting nothing more than to be completely opposite from them as I witnessed that many of my aunts, uncles, cousins and my mother didn’t have many friends. I couldn’t imagine a life that appeared so devoid of human interaction. I put being friendly and appeasing others at the top of my list and had many friends right up until I reached my late 20’s.

What I have come to realize is that my inclination to be well liked did very little for my financial growth.

I’m not saying that I didn’t gain the fulfillment of a life rich with memories from friendships made, but at the end of all the young and fun times, most of them are no longer around- with my feathered money flying with them.

Now, what does saving money and being mean have anything to do with one another?

The idea comes from the fact that even though I don’t always agree with my family’s sometimes borderline cruelty, I can’t deny the fact that they are more financially stable than their friendlier counterparts.

Now I know there are many factors that contribute to their monetary gains and their ability to keep them, but one way I have seen for sure is the fact that they are not spending money to be the cool guy or gal. They aren’t seeking pleasurable outings with others on a regular basis and they have fewer experiences giving out to open hands because there aren’t any hands around reaching out for them in the first place.

Gaining a reputation of being unapproachable has dissuaded many from asking or begging for funds unless one absolutely has no choice, in which even still, they’ll believe you haven’t checked all other options before coming to them so inevitably the answer may still be no.

To many, this may seem like a very unreliable and cold dynamical family (dysfunctional is a favorite terminology), but I also had the opportunity to witness a family that prided themselves on giving to others.

Some of my ex-husbands family members (my ex-husband included) let money fly from their fingertips at the beckon call of anyone who cried for help, whether these people were truly in dire need or not.

What inadvertently occurred was when someone really needed help the coffers were dry. It put a financial strain on the givers and created resentment from the takers who’d become used to receiving when asking.

With some, it became more important to be sociable and entertained- to live in the now- than to buckle down and build financial stability for themselves in the future. And let’s face it, we are all destined to get old (divine willing) and pretty soon you’ll be 80 before you know it.

The phrase “The more you give, the more you get” has been taken so far out of context that even I was giving without any regard to logical and consciously structured spending habits. I gave when I didn’t have it to give believing I would be subsequently rewarded by “good vibrations” and I would get it back tenfold.

This was not the case. I ended up behind on bills and unable to enjoy the things I wanted because let’s be honest, good takers are not good givers and ironically, vice versa.

Good givers tend to refuse taking anything from others also believing that being likable and easy going is a deposit for times when you feel in need, you can have free access and payback for all the good you’ve done.

Nine times out of ten you’ll find that type of account as empty as the concept it’s built upon.

Being mean doesn’t mean you have to be a downright bitch or bastard, but setting boundaries and learning good spending and saving habits will ultimately serve you more in the long run than being the one people can always go to for a handout.

You don’t have to stop being a giving person, but you don’t need to be a doormat either. Securing your and your immediate families future is just as, if not more, rewarding than being the ultra nice guy in the neighborhood.

Your bank account will undoubtedly agree.